What is a talebearer? The Hebrew word for a talebearer suggests a “trader” or “merchant.” It reflects the idea that a talebearer trades, or merchandises, in tales. That’s an insightful way of looking at talebearers, those merchants of malice, with whom we are all so familiar in life. Their stock and trade is in information regarding others.
Today we usually call “talebearing” by the name “gossip.” But however we refer to it, YHWH has said not to do it!
Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour: I am the LORD. (Leviticus 19:16 KJV)
Some would argue that we are no longer under Torah, so that doesn’t apply. My response is: huh?
What part of love is talebearing? A talebearer can’t be walking in their so-called “Law of Love” because their talebearing is in no part the love of Messiah. Rather than making erroneous proclamations about a dead law, they need to focus on putting to death their evil ways. They really need to open up Torah and get an education in what walking by the law of love actually looks like!
Talebearing is no part of Spirit-led love, nor of Spirit-filled wisdom. Talebearers can only be walking in the flesh because it is a work of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21). And it’s also just plain unwise. Proverbs addressed talebearing:
The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly. (Proverbs 18:8 KJV)
He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips. (Proverbs 20:19 KJV)
Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth. (Proverbs 26:20 KJV)
The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.
(Proverbs 26:22 KJV) (Yes, it’s in Proverbs twice, just for good measure!)
To summarize those quotes from Proverbs: talebearers leave a lot to be desired. So whether by Torah, or by the Law of Love (for those who don’t realize that Torah is the Law of Love), talebearing doesn’t fit in the life, practice, or experience of the Kingdom of YHWH. In fact, our King hates it:
These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren. (Proverbs 6:16-19 KJV)
That’s what a talebearer does: sows discord. Some sowing is obvious and we can dispense with it relatively easily. But other sowing is much more subtle. So subtle, that I submit to you that most of us engage in it quite commonly without even realizing it.
How can this be? Because many of us come from backgrounds that were not built on a culture of YHWH’s word and way. So we are not always in tune with the revealed righteousness of YHWH. But we can learn something about talebearing from the culture that has been grounded in the Bible long before there ever was something called a Christian.
In the Jewish culture, there is a developed understanding of talebearing, its effects, and its nuances. One aspect of talebearing is the spreading of lies in order to destroy someone, whether literally or figuratively. That is called “motzi shem ra” or “spreading a bad name.” That one is pretty obvious to us.
We all have been the victims of liars who have attempted to destroy us in some way by spreading what they understand to be lies. Thankfully for us, we have a Father who has promised to free us from such murderers and exact justice for their crimes against the innocent.
It’s not that kind of talebearing I want to look at today. What I want to discuss today is much more subtle and therefore not so obvious to our untrained eye. But it is still talebearing, and we have still been told not to do it. And even if we claim some sort of Law of Love outside of Torah, we cannot in good conscience claim to be acting under Love if we engage in talebearing.
In contrast to motzi shem ra, we have something called “lashon hara” (evil tongue, or speech). Lashon hara differs from the defaming of someone by lies in that its focus is on the use of truth for a wrongful purpose. That is gossip, or talebearing, also. And I see that going on ALL the time.
Lashon hara is anything that is said about another person that is derogatory or even damaging in any way (physically, financially, socially, stress-inducingly, and the like). Anytime we say anything that discredits or casts a bad light on someone we are talebearing. It’s not our place to “bring someone down,” even if the things we discuss about them are true. There are some limitations to this that I’ll describe a bit later.
How much do you really love someone? Do you love them enough to not even say good things about them? What? Yes, it’s a violation of this mitzvah (a mitzvah is walking in love of YHWH and His Word) to say even positive things if those positive things will discredit or damage someone. How does that work?
Well, let’s say you are speaking with an enemy of Tom. You say, “That Tom is really such a nice guy!” What you said about Tom might be nice, it might be true, it might be positive, but it is talebearing that will likely lead to damaging communication about Tom.
That’s because you are provoking Tom’s enemy to say something bad about Tom in order to contradict your appreciation of Tom or in order to convince you that Tom is not at all nice. The best thing to have done was to not say anything at all about Tom. And if Tom’s enemy says something about Tom, just smile politely and don’t say anything.
See how subtley lashon hara operates? Even when we think we might be peacemakers we could actually be acting as trouble makers! Sound complicated? Not really. The thing to do is learn not to say anything good or bad about anybody, except to their face.
Let’s do say things to build others up, but to their face where it will actually be a blessing. Wouldn’t you be more of a blessing to Tom by express your appreciation of him directly rather than to his enemy? It’s simple, only we complicate it.
Here’s another example. You are thankful that Joe has given you $100 to help you make your full mortgage payment on time. You express that appreciation to Mark and Larry. But you don’t know what is going to be going through Mark and Larry’s minds when you compliment Joe in regards to this matter. It’s possible your communication will cause damage to Joe in some way.
Mark or Larry may become irritated that Joe didn’t provide help to them too. Maybe they’ll ask, but Joe won’t have anything extra because he already helped you out. They’ll potentially get the wrong picture of his refusal to help and it will cause Joe to be damaged socially, at least.
But our talebearing is not really this innocent often, is it? Isn’t it common to hear the truth being told, but in such a manner that the person who is the object of the truth being spread is in some way being damaged? Remember, it might be true but that doesn’t make it right to tell others in gossip, or talebearing.
How many people have been damaged by so-called prayer requests shared? How many “concerned” saints have there been that have spent many an hour discussing others business in the name of a caring spirit?
Whether we are using truth as an excuse to be a talebearer, or we are just telling somebody else’s business without malice on our part, we could very well be causing harm in some way to the person we are talking about. We just don’t know. But we’d still be talebearers.
In some ways, talebearing is worse than physically harming someone or their property. Property can be restored and bruises can mend. But the tales we bear about others can never full be taken back from the minds, hearts, and attitudes of other people. The damage caused by talebearing is, to some extent, irreversible.
And lashon hara, truth misused, can be worse that motzi shem ra, a slanderous lie. That’s because a lie can potentially be proven to be a lie and a reputation restored. But the truth cannot be denied honestly, so the damage is not repairable. The person might deserve to have their reputation destroyed, but that is YHWH’s place, not ours. We must not be talebearers of false tales, nor of true tales.
Now, the concept of lashon hara has been abused by predators. There have been cases of abusers attempting to silence their victim with this concept. But it is not talebearing to seek help or rescue from one’s oppressor. But it would become lashon hara if we were to go about telling everyone about the abuser after we have been rescued in order to bring harm to them. Again, that is YHWH’s place.
Lashon hara also raises concern when we are placed in a position to help someone out of a potentially harmful situation by telling them something we know about another person. Tread carefully here. There is sometimes a fine line between genuine concern for someone while having an ability to save them from harm, and sticking our noses in where they don’t belong.
So what can we do to save ourselves from committing lashon hara? It helps to have a general personal policy of not saying anything good or bad about someone not present, whether it is true or not. Let’s spend our time saying good or bad, as appropriate, about the people we are with at the moment. That’s where it is going to do the most good! And then we must develop a very keen ear for the Spirit’s leading in what we should or shouldn’t say, when, where, and to whom.
Something that will help tremendously in combating lashon hara is to develop our mind, heart, and actions toward thinking well of others as a general rule. What we think of others makes a big difference in what we say about them. This will help us to not be too quick to criticize others in a moment of weakness. What we feel towards others leads to our actions. If we have an attitude of genuine concern for others, we will automatically act in accordance with their well being. Finally, we just need to act like our Messiah. It’s right to do good to others, even when they don’t deserve it.
This is a big topic, and my purpose here is to introduce it to you. A fuller and more nuanced understanding of these things belongs to those who will search them out in Scripture (I didn’t tell you any examples of lashon hara in action from Scripture. They’re there–search them out!) and seek to follow the Spirit in being set-apart from the ways of the world.
Finally, the fall feast season is upon us. The ten days between Yom Teruah and Yom Kippur are known as the days of Awe. They are traditionally days of self-searching and repentance in preparation of Yom Kippur. The tongue is an area of defeat for many within the kingdom. This is a perfect time for us to consider what our words and communications with others look like from YHWH’s perspective. If they are something that He really hates, then it’s time to seek forgiveness, put them behind us, and step forward in His Torah.
Blessings! And Shana tova!
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What do you think? Please leave a comment below and let me know! Thank you.
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Copyright 2010 Jim Zboran. All rights reserved.
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